resolve...dissolve...

so, i realized after my last post that ive just been ranting about law school, and not really talking about any other aspect of my life. while this shows the real balance of my life, i think id rather give the cyber world the appearance that my life is much more balanced and well rounded and less consumed by the library than it, in all reality, actually is.

since it’s the beginning of the new year, i too made some resolutions that i aspire to, but most likely will not, keep.

the first on my list is go gluten free. i did it once (for two years), i could do it again right? WRONG! oh, ive been fabulously good for the last two weeks, but i forgot what torture it is to watch everyone else around me consume mass amounts of pizza while i wolf down a gross (read that: Caesar) salad like its my last meal. see, the thing about gluten free is that if you don’t want to munch on veggies and fruit for the rest of your life, you must cook. and between class and homework, I don’t usually have a ton of time to actually participate in the culinary arts. but since this time around im more equipt to cook on a regular basis (aka. more willing), i think/hope it will go better than last time, and become a lifestyle rather than a burden.

second, im going to work out more. this resolution is already dead to me. i tried going to the gym that brian’s work (a health supplement company) subscribes to for free (instead of hiring people full time and giving them benefits), but it turns out that this health supplement company does not want me getting fit because they have not renewed their subscription to the gym. so, i could pay for the membership for 300$ or I could just go to the really really crappy byu gym for free since im a student…but im resisting. i doubt that resistance will last for long though, since i bought new running shoes just to solidify my resolution and they are calling my name very loudly every time i look in the mirror…

so…those are my major resolutions for the year, along with a few little things that probably have a more eternal affect on my life, but those are just the little things, right? if you have any resolutions, id like to hear them! you offer me some moral support, i just might offer you some homemade gluten free cookies that i may not promise to be utterly delicious...

variations on a familiar theme

ive decided that law school isnt anything to brag about. every one always comments on what a "brainiac" i am but if you know me at all, youll know im not the brilliant, scholarly type. really, law school isnt all that hard. (i havent gotten my grades yet so in about a month, this position may change...) id almost rather just say im going to grad school that open to door to all the false assumptions people make one you let the words "law school" slip out of your mouth. the only difference between grad school in general and law school is the amount of mental and emotional and physical pain you like to endure from day to day. not so keen on self mutilation? go to grad school. want to live in a masochistic house of horrors? law school is the place for you! and so far, this semester promises to painful.

however, there are 3 things that bring me hope that i will survive even better than last semester.

1) i have all female professors. how i managed to do this, I dont know. ok fine, i do know-byu choose my classes for me. but thats makes it even more amazing! for a school with a long heritage of always having more men in the building than women (yes, even on saturdays), it pretty crazy to have gotten all female professors. and they are all pretty neat too. one even looks like velma from scooby doo. while a persons gender doesnt necessarily change their political points of veiw, i think this semester my profs will be more interested in opposing points of view than espousing their own opinions. which will be a nice change in this neo-con environment...

2) i have criminal law this semester...and i heart it already. every class has a ton of reading but its all fascinating to me. its taught by a judge who has a more fluid way of teaching but she likes to encourage debate and discussion, which i always enjoy (well. except when im subject to the idiodic, pointless, and irrelevant musing of some of my more socially inept classmates...). and since criminal law is something that ive always been interested in, double yay.

3) all of my profs are away of our different-than-normal-first-year-second-semester schedule, which has disproportionately more core classes than last semester. beacuse of this, they are all taking it upon themselves to lessen our work load. so instead of having 25 pages of reading per class, it ranges from 6-15 pages of reading per class (minus criminal law though...thats more like 40 pages a night). yay again.

so while this may not sound like much to all of you who are now either writhing uncomfortably because you just realized how easy your life really is, or are now quietly celebrating inside because you are a fellow law student who is trying to catch up to todays reading in your carrel and cannot celebrate outloud, it makes a substantial difference and i might actually get o see my husband sometime in the next 4 months. might. sorry honey, i dont know what time ill be home tonight....

if money grew on christmas trees, id still be poor

so today cumulated in my successfully living through two weeks of finals. when i say successfully, i dont mean that i did well on my finals, i only mean i made it out alive. i wont know about my grades until the end of jan, so im not going to think about how "successful" my finals actually were until then. now there are 2.5 weeks between me and my next class...ahhh, how i love the smell of freedom...

so christmas is coming upon us, and as all devout christmas celebrators should do, we have a christmas tree. we've had it about 2 weeks and its decorated with twinkling lights and pretty ornaments...but its dying! we werent able to cut off the bottom inch of the tree when we got it cuz our landlords were out of town and we dont own a saw, but i never thought it would make that big of a deal! a week out from christmas, and our cute little tree is already mostly dead...i guess its a good thing we dont have kids if i cant even keep a freakin tree alive for 2 weeks...

so, since im now free of the bondage of school, i decided to do some of my christmas shopping this afternoon. fortunately, i found what i was looking for. unfortunately, i couldnt buy more :(. i know my fam doesnt love me cuz of what i buy them, but i cant help wanting to do more than just buy a 15$ necessity...being poor sucks. actually let me revise that...being poor and living on loans sucks more. but oh well. im grateful that we have all that we do and that we can even afford a christmas tree and a few presents for our families.

besides, the tree and the presents arent what christmas is about right? i guess its crazy to me that people can celebrate christmas and only think about stuff like santa...the reason this time of year feels so cozy and loving isnt because of santa, but because people are actually remembering christ and trying to live like him. its amazing the difference just thinking about christ and keeping his example and love in your daily life can make in the world.

anyways...here i am, waiting for brian to get home from HIS last final, chattin with my cousin on facebook (sup marta)...while i am so stoked about the break, i have a feeling that the time i spend at home alone is gonna get really old, really fast. so...counting down the next 5 days until my granny gets here and i can hang out with her while brian is at work...but for now, im enjoying being a lazy butt :)

brotherly love

for those of you who dont know, i have a younger brother named christian. he is exactly 14 months and 6 days younger than me. all our lives, we have been treated like twins by our parents since we are so close in age and the next kid is 7 years younger than us. actually we look quite a bit alike too...but thats not why im writing this.

my brother is currently in sao paulo, brazil on a two year mission for our church. he has been there almost a year and a half and in july he will be back. for those of you who DO know us, and have known us for many years, know that we used to fight like cr

azy. but now he is one of my best friends. weird huh? i still remember the day we made the transition from siblings to friends...i was a freshman in college and hadnt really talked to him in the 4 months i had been at school...this was mostly my fault, as every time i called home i would tell my parents to tell my baby brother that i missed and loved him but not christian. when they asked if i wanted to talk to him, i would shrug and say "nah." but one day, i was walking through the grocery store when my phone rang. my brother was on the other end, bawling his eyes out. it turns out his friend had gotten in a really bad car accident on the way home from school and crashed headon into the county district attorney. the woman was killed instantly but his friend was in a coma and would be charged with reckless drive and vehicular manslaughter if she came out. i cried with him as i walked down the ice cream freezer aisle and asked why he had called me. my parents were out of town and he had no one else he thought would understand. he broke my heart then, because even though i had been a total brat to him, he still trusted me with him inner most feelings and trusted me to care for him when he was vulnerable. after than, things changed. we became friends and while both of us were at byu, we would text little raps to each other, go to dinner once a week together, and i would meet all his friends who didnt understand why i called him christian when they called him scott (christian is his middle name).

anyways, point is, i miss him alot. its been kinda hard with my family moving and getting married and him not being there. but every week when i get an email from him i feel so proud of where he is at in life and how awesome he is. i am so lucky to have such a great relationship with him. before he left on his mission, my mom asked him who he would miss most, anticipating that he would say our dog since he has claimed sole ownership of him since he was a puppy. instead, my brother said "im gonna miss everyone but you know who im really gonna miss most? my sister." i realize just what a cruddy sister i was when we were kids...being the older (and usually taller one) i figured it was my job to push him down stairs and take his fruit snacks so long as i managed to stay out of reaching distance of the jabbing fork he threatened me with. now i see how wrong i was-instead of being a good example to him, i was his worst enemy. i regret those years when we fought with so much angst towards eachother, but during this holiday season, when we all reflect upon the blessings we have in life, i am thankful for my brother, who saw through my flippant attitude to his loving sister beneath, and gave me another chance to see him for who he really was. im so grateful for his strength and his example to me, and im so excited for when he comes home to see the guy he has grown up to be. love you cheech!

and yes, i will beat up any girl who messes with him

turkey bowl

this is the time of year when everyone decides it would be best to contemplate the things they are most thankful for. at the top of my list, im thankful for 3 days off of school-5 day weekend here i come! as we speak, i am sitting in the library, whittling away the time during which i would normally be in class, patiently awaiting my last class before the weekend. after which i will promptly go to a movie and dinner with friends. doesnt sound half bad, does it?

of course, as a law student, a thanksgiving break cant just be a happy break from school. no, it must be a long and tortuous weekend. for example, on top of everyday life things like replacing brian's broken (and fake) tooth (which will cost 200$) and fixing his car (which wouldnt start today), i have to worry about the assignments for next week, as well as preparing for finals. now, if you arent familiar with law school finals, we have two weeks of finals-two finals a week, each lasting 3 hours and the only basis upon which our grades rest. i have about 5 days to prepare for the first one. at first, i thought that would be great...now im wondering if i have enough time. so while i am feasting upon wonderful homemade goodness, i will also be stressing out over the outlines and flashcards and study groups i could and should be drowning myself in.

on a lighter note, byu hosts utah for the age old "holy war" rivalry on saturday. and yes-we do have tickets. and no-i will not sell them to you, even for an exorbitant amount of money. i have never been to a byu-utah game and dare i say it? im so excited, i just might pee my pants. going to byu has always been an inner struggle for me, and the football team has always had an ability to quiet the battle within, at least for a few hours each week. and this time, it will also quiet the stressing voices in my head...for a few hours. i would like nothing more than to crush utah, and lose my voice cheering on the cougars. and if my mom brings any utah paraphernalia, i swear, i will shred them with my teeth.

i ♥ byu football.

mind games

after 3 months in law school, i have noticed several differences between it and your basic undergrad education...or any education for that matter. observe.

1. professors would rather have you teach the class. this is to "make you think like a lawyer."

2. professors will call on you in class even when you dont have your hand up. this is to "make you think like a lawyer."

3. if you dont do your assigned readings before class, your professor will call on you every day until you are prepared. this is to "make you think like a lawyer."

4. an average score on a test (like an 87%) is actually a d. this ridiculous curve is to "make you think like a lawyer."

5. you have no other assignments that determine your class grade except for your massive 3 hour final. this is to "make you think like a lawyer."

as you can see, all of these things are vast improvements from undergrad, right? but the best difference of all are the mind games. not like, staring at goats style mind games. these are games that are likely to send you into hyperventilation. the worst part? all these games are played by other students. thats right. when you are sitting in the library, dutifully studying, you realize that you are the only person who has been there fewer than 4 hours. now you know that you are obviously studying the wrong way. i mean, if you arent spending that much time reading 10 pages, then you OBVIOUSLY have missed all the information thats preventing you from getting more than an 87% on your test! i mean, duh! oh wait...that guy is playing mob wars on facebook...you think im kidding about the mind games, but im not. law school is a place that very smart people come to make other smart people feel dumb. but i have the system figured out. if you arent so smart (like moi) then these smart people dont make you feel dumb. they simply annoy you. really, its kind of nice to know that you are possibly the dumbest person in your class because you are immune to these games.

ok for real, most of the time, these people arent even studying but they want to make you think they are. why, exactly, this is so important to them, im not sure. if they arent studying, sitting in the library is definately not helping their social lives. these games are silly, but in all honesty, its very easy to fall prey to these games. and yes, it is gut wrenching. but a friend told me once that when it gets overwhelming, just remember-its just law college. just finish what you gotta finish, then go home and have a life. no biggie.

of course, no one is immune to the total terror of turning in a paper (that is about 80% of your grade) 3 days early...

return from the dead

im back. how lovely, eh? you know, i have tried my whole life to try to keep a consistent journal and i have never made it very long. even when i have a cool one with a lock (3rd grade) or when i tried to write only about things that i would actually want my posterity to read (aka not all the retarded guys ive dated) or one that had a ridiculously cute picture of a beagle on it. looks like this was no different. sorry kids.

but im back! sooo...how bout i fill you in on the last year of my life-first of all, sorry to keep you hanging about the law school thing. i am now a 1L at byu law! how exciting! well, i thought so in august, but now that the law library is my second home, i dont think its quite so exciting. and its hard to say that ive waited my whole life to slave away reading lovely topics like property and contracts, both subjects being older than dirt itself and very (cough) riveting. but really, i do like it. call me strange, i know. but its practical and applicable and i got to tell my new land lord "no i will not sign a contract with a cterm stating that i have to pay your attorneys fees should you sue me because no court will think that is a reasonable term anyways." of course, i did that in the nicest way possible. :)

ummm what else....oh i got married. no big deal. got our pictures back on our 10 month anniversary. it was fun. brian and i decided that living in provo was like living in a vice while your nails were slowly plucked from your finger tips. ok maybe not that bad, but you try cramming two very active snowboarding, camping, disc golfing, music loving, not so tidy people's stuff into a 525 sq ft apt. not exactly comfy. so we left. and found a cute two bedroom basement apartment in cedar hills-roughly 15 miles north of campus. its fun to put an address void of an apartment number on resumes-i feel like im not too ghetto and young. not that i want to get old, dont get me wrong. but many people dont take a 23 year old girl who is already married very seriously. so i figure this gives me some "take me seriously" points.

if you notice, its not yet thanksgiving. one of my pet peeves is when halloween ends and people jump right into christmas. what happened to thanksgiving?? sorry, but im not liable to forget the next long weekend i get, thank you. right now, im committing a cardinal sin. im listening to christmas music. sorry, pilgrims. you gave us a great holiday and all, but im sick and i think frosty is gonna do a better job of giving me some inner sparkle than squanto. besides, whoever heard of thanksgiving music? (yeah yeah, dont remind me of hymns, those arent like, music to listen to...). but i did make a cute paper bag turkey with scrapbook paper feathers (shut up, i hear you giggling, lisa) that is sitting on our counter to remind us to be thankful. id like to take credit for the idea but my mom will read this and rat me out. thanks mom for the memories of cutting out 3 foot long feathers as a kid.