When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.- William Joseph Slim

so most of you who read this prolly already know but i heard back from one law school already. i have officially been accepted to Rutgers. yay! for those of you who dont know where rutgers is, it is in New Jersey, and according to Princeton Review its like ranked 34th of law schools in the nation. i think that is pretty good considering i have a 2.7 gpa (oops!). apparently my parents did a fabulous job of helping me edit and re edit and delete and add to my personal statement, and my dad's off the shoulder style of addendum seems to have endeared me to their hearts. oh and thanks, parentals too for paying to the LSAT prep class i took. obviously, my parents are rad, and not only did they help me do all of that, but they also footed the application bill...a fat 650$. you could basically say THEY applied to law school and almost be accurate.

now that i have heard back from one law school, i feel like i can breath. ok i guess i was doin just fine with the senioritis but now i dont feel like my future is hanging in the balance. and i also dont feel like a law student-wannabe when people ask where im goin cuz now i dont have to say i dont know yet. oh dont get in a fuss yet, i havent decided for sure if im goin to rutgers or not, but at least im no longer freaking out. the rest of schools are like tally marks-yes i got in, no i did not. i have an uncontrollable urge to run to the mailbox every day to see if i get any more law school paraphernalia but at least its not a frantic run that could end in a handful of rejection letters. that could still happen, but i will at least be left holding the one acceptance. after all, that is all i need.

after talking to my mom today though i may be in a bit of a conundrum...it seems i may one again be the reason for my family moving. ok, that was kinda a brash statement because nothing is for sure, but my dad had a job interview today that ended with his saying why i wanted to move to virginia to which he replied "my daughter just got into law school in new jersey and if i live in california, how can i possibly see her all that often?" ok that is adorable i know, but not if my parents move i may be more inclined to go to rutgers instead of (hopefully) a california school. to add to that, my best friend (hi lisa) really wants me to move out there and go to gonzaga. besides the fact that i dont know if ill even get in, they dont have the program i want, but i really would love to live near my best friend again. and i cant forget my grandparents who want me to go to rutgers too :) ah decisions decisions! and then there is the peace corps to think about....i have way too much goin on right now!

ok so that is a good thing, so dont get me wrong, im not complaining, but still. it seems like just yesterday that i got to byu, and hated it but ive gotten through it....maybe even enjoyed parts of it? ok i wont go that far but its been alot of fun and its just scary to think im almost done with the guaranteed part of my life...the part that i can plan on, the part that i do every day...here comes real life and im not totally sure im ready for it....

he finally manned up

last week the day finally came. the day i have been waiting for for the last 3 years. and day my parents have been waiting for for the last year. my brother got his mission call.

ok so maybe that was a weird way to preface his call, but it was totally honest. oh im sure he was ready for it too; after all, he has been in limbo for the last few months while he has had to get his dental sorted out and his papers filled out while just workin away at coca cola. but that day was the day that my parents and i all breathed a sigh of relief.

i wont delve into any details but since my brother came home from BYU a year ago he has been working at getting away from the lifestyle and friends that had dragged him down to a bitter, unhealthy, and dangerous place. and it wasnt just a matter of moving home either. he has worked really hard and at times i have been way too hard on him considering the effort he was makin, but i must admit that i was scared that he wasnt totally committed to changing.

granted, getting a mission call or not doesnt define a person. not at all. i know plenty of great guys that i respect that didnt go on missions. but for my brother, it was a sign that he had committed to the changes in his life. i would love my brother regardless, but i think i would be perpetually afraid that his motives for change were simply superficial with nothing to anchor him when times get tough.

i love my brother. he is my best friend, like looking in a mirror (literally hehe). and im so proud of him. not that he is going on a mission necessarily (though i am proud of that) but im proud that he has something that is so important to him that he can hold on to, something that he is willing to better himself for. and i know that the work he has put into his life in the past year will make the next two years of his life even sweeter.

i love you cheechee.

last night

last night i got my hair caught on fire. i was laying on the floor of my friend's apt when i heard ::sizzle:: closely followed by ::blow of air::. the smell of burning immediately alerted me. i knew that it was Randall, who had been on the couch behind me and was playing with a lighter. nervous giggling from both him and jordan, who was on the couch next to me, confirmed my suspicions. it turns out that only the ends of a portion of my hair was singed, but that doesnt mean i wasnt totally nervous. when i asked how bad the damage was and all i got was a nervous "well..." from randall and jordan was just laying there with a grimace and his hand clapped over his eyes, i got a little scared and threatened to beat up randall if i needed to. lucky for him i didnt end up with a massive amount of burned hair or else i would have made him shave my head haha. and now i can talk about how my hair is extremely flammable, to randall's surprise.

yay for late night adventures.

ah success.....

today i finished my law school applications. all 11 of them. thanks to my mom and dad who financed the $650 ordeal, plus a law school forum in LA, i have alot better chance of gettin in than i did last week haha. not gonna lie, im nervous. having been sick for the last few days while i tried to finish all the junk ive been putting off for the last two months was hard but it feels so good to have them done! yay! and then right after i submitted them i went and got my grad package-april is comin so fast. so today was a good day, despite the sickies. and to top it all off, my little brother told me he hopes to be as smart as me one day. little does he know, his sister just works really hard....

i need your votes...

ah my law school stuff is almost totally done. yay. good, cuz im getting sick of it. but im kinda scared now too. one day i just decided that if i didnt get into law school that i was going to join the peace corps. well, supposedly my chances of getting into law school are really good, but i wanted to have an alternative so that i didnt feel like a loser when all my childhood dreams came crashing down. but now that ive said it, thrown the peace corps possibility out there, its become if i dont get into law school, or not the ones that i want. uh oh. a small evolution in speech maybe, but it signifies a huge shift. i really wanna join the peace corps. i always have. since like, i was 10 and sat next to this girl who was coming back from africa with her sister and who had a boyfriend at princeton (that made it legit). so. here is the question. do i just go to law school and forget about peace corp? or do i go someplace crazy for two years after requesting a deference? or what should i do? give me your votes: law school or peace corp first?

you have the right to remain silent

as a political science major, and as an aspiring law student, a certain amount of argument for the purpose of persuasion is pertinent. i enjoy a good romp around the issue, especially if you know what you are talkin about. but i hate. HATE. when people decided to attack you and the issue at hand. there is nothing wrong with being completely informed about your issue. but when you go on a rampage, expecting me to rebut every detail that you put forth, only to take my opinion as credible once all the evidence has been proven wrong, i dont particularly take interest anymore. because no matter how much you say its not an attack, thats exactly what it is.

ok now ill stop being vague and tell you the story. my friend made a comment on facebook about questioning a certain president's legacy. i made a comment back and a friendly jousting of opinions ensued briefly. then one of his friends, who happened to see our commentary, decided i needed some educating and messaged me a long, verbose, and quite negative argument against my position. i messaged him back, whereupon he requested that i answer all of his questions as a pretext to other questions he wanted to ask me. yes, im a smartalec so i refused and quipped back, to which he was not appreciative, but then again, i wasnt so keen about been verbally berated for revering a president that i was studying by some random douche bag (excuse my french) that was too wrapped up in his own opinionated superiority to afford a differing view some courtesy.

ok my rant is done now.

my adorable brothers....

so today i was up on the mountain, and though i was in a clinic and thinking alot about the technical crap i was doing and trying to make sure i didnt fall cuz i did it wrong, i had some time to think about other stuff. the last few days/weeks have been kinda weird. in some ways they have been the most fun weeks in utah of this whole last year. but at the same time, they have been some of the most lonely.

yesterday i was talking to my mom about apartment drama and other junk when i just started bawling. i couldnt help it and it was certainly not planned. i just missed my best friend. "i want my lisa!" is the exactly phase i wailed to my mom. i have some friends that are just glued to each other, haha its kinda funny. like 24/7. but i reminds me of how me and lisa were in high school...and long story short, i've felt like the recyclable friend here in utah, being really close to someone for a little while and it just dropping off after a few months never to be heard from ever again.

needless to say, i told this all to my mom, and i guess she related it all to my dad later last night. well, my cute little brother, who is the sweetest 13 year old you will ever meet, must have overheard my mom talking because last night he prayed that i would find a friend. my little brother is my angel. besides being the biggest inspiration to me, he always knows exactly what to say to make me feel like the best sister and friend in the world. even though he is a good 7 years younger than me, i've worked hard to make sure i'm not some vague older entity in his life, and sometimes it seems that he can see into my soul better than anyone else.

now, this doesn't exclude my other brother, my best friend and my twin. though he is a year younger than me, there is noone that is so much like me in this world. last weekend he come up to utah to snowboard and i had a blast with him. i didnt get to see him alot but it was so good to see the stronger side of me. he has gone through so much in the last little bit and he has come out of it better than i ever would have. i love him so much and when he leaves on his mish, i'm gonna miss him enough to rival our mother.

that being said, i am the luckiest girl ever. i have the strongest brothers ever, and they are so fun, so much like me, and so special to me. i wouldnt be the nerdy, crazy, unlady like girl i am without them. thanks bros. i love you two more than you will EVER know.