if money grew on christmas trees, id still be poor

so today cumulated in my successfully living through two weeks of finals. when i say successfully, i dont mean that i did well on my finals, i only mean i made it out alive. i wont know about my grades until the end of jan, so im not going to think about how "successful" my finals actually were until then. now there are 2.5 weeks between me and my next class...ahhh, how i love the smell of freedom...

so christmas is coming upon us, and as all devout christmas celebrators should do, we have a christmas tree. we've had it about 2 weeks and its decorated with twinkling lights and pretty ornaments...but its dying! we werent able to cut off the bottom inch of the tree when we got it cuz our landlords were out of town and we dont own a saw, but i never thought it would make that big of a deal! a week out from christmas, and our cute little tree is already mostly dead...i guess its a good thing we dont have kids if i cant even keep a freakin tree alive for 2 weeks...

so, since im now free of the bondage of school, i decided to do some of my christmas shopping this afternoon. fortunately, i found what i was looking for. unfortunately, i couldnt buy more :(. i know my fam doesnt love me cuz of what i buy them, but i cant help wanting to do more than just buy a 15$ necessity...being poor sucks. actually let me revise that...being poor and living on loans sucks more. but oh well. im grateful that we have all that we do and that we can even afford a christmas tree and a few presents for our families.

besides, the tree and the presents arent what christmas is about right? i guess its crazy to me that people can celebrate christmas and only think about stuff like santa...the reason this time of year feels so cozy and loving isnt because of santa, but because people are actually remembering christ and trying to live like him. its amazing the difference just thinking about christ and keeping his example and love in your daily life can make in the world.

anyways...here i am, waiting for brian to get home from HIS last final, chattin with my cousin on facebook (sup marta)...while i am so stoked about the break, i have a feeling that the time i spend at home alone is gonna get really old, really fast. so...counting down the next 5 days until my granny gets here and i can hang out with her while brian is at work...but for now, im enjoying being a lazy butt :)

brotherly love

for those of you who dont know, i have a younger brother named christian. he is exactly 14 months and 6 days younger than me. all our lives, we have been treated like twins by our parents since we are so close in age and the next kid is 7 years younger than us. actually we look quite a bit alike too...but thats not why im writing this.

my brother is currently in sao paulo, brazil on a two year mission for our church. he has been there almost a year and a half and in july he will be back. for those of you who DO know us, and have known us for many years, know that we used to fight like cr

azy. but now he is one of my best friends. weird huh? i still remember the day we made the transition from siblings to friends...i was a freshman in college and hadnt really talked to him in the 4 months i had been at school...this was mostly my fault, as every time i called home i would tell my parents to tell my baby brother that i missed and loved him but not christian. when they asked if i wanted to talk to him, i would shrug and say "nah." but one day, i was walking through the grocery store when my phone rang. my brother was on the other end, bawling his eyes out. it turns out his friend had gotten in a really bad car accident on the way home from school and crashed headon into the county district attorney. the woman was killed instantly but his friend was in a coma and would be charged with reckless drive and vehicular manslaughter if she came out. i cried with him as i walked down the ice cream freezer aisle and asked why he had called me. my parents were out of town and he had no one else he thought would understand. he broke my heart then, because even though i had been a total brat to him, he still trusted me with him inner most feelings and trusted me to care for him when he was vulnerable. after than, things changed. we became friends and while both of us were at byu, we would text little raps to each other, go to dinner once a week together, and i would meet all his friends who didnt understand why i called him christian when they called him scott (christian is his middle name).

anyways, point is, i miss him alot. its been kinda hard with my family moving and getting married and him not being there. but every week when i get an email from him i feel so proud of where he is at in life and how awesome he is. i am so lucky to have such a great relationship with him. before he left on his mission, my mom asked him who he would miss most, anticipating that he would say our dog since he has claimed sole ownership of him since he was a puppy. instead, my brother said "im gonna miss everyone but you know who im really gonna miss most? my sister." i realize just what a cruddy sister i was when we were kids...being the older (and usually taller one) i figured it was my job to push him down stairs and take his fruit snacks so long as i managed to stay out of reaching distance of the jabbing fork he threatened me with. now i see how wrong i was-instead of being a good example to him, i was his worst enemy. i regret those years when we fought with so much angst towards eachother, but during this holiday season, when we all reflect upon the blessings we have in life, i am thankful for my brother, who saw through my flippant attitude to his loving sister beneath, and gave me another chance to see him for who he really was. im so grateful for his strength and his example to me, and im so excited for when he comes home to see the guy he has grown up to be. love you cheech!

and yes, i will beat up any girl who messes with him