shoot me

i feel super inadequate right now.
and im super scared of the not so distant future.

and it super sucks.

besties

i have lots of friends. dont believe me? i have 852 friends on facebook and I KNOW THEM ALL. now that is disgusting. but really, most of them are just people i went to school with or worked with...only a few i can really say will be my friends until the end of time. these are my besties. funny thing, i havent talked to most of them in a ridiculously long time, and havent seen them in longer-the range is anywhere from a year to 7 years. which is whack for some people who know each other way too ridiculously well.

i miss them a crapload. i wish they were closer. but its ok because every time we finally get back in contact with each other it like we never left. ok we so dont have as many recent things to laugh about but oh well, its close enough. and its funny how much our lives parallel each others too. the only thing i can relate this to is a period. when girls live with each other, something happens in the air and your hormones get all mixed up and suddenly every one is running to the bathroom during the exactly same week for that time of the month. though we might not live anywhere remotely close to each other anymore (seattle, eastern washington, ohio, cali, utah, pennsylvania) our live sstill follow similar paths. maybe thats why we are such good friends...or maybe its because we are such good friends...either way....ibet you will never look at that time of the month the same ever again.

freebording

anyone who knows me knows that i love to snowboard. but since the season is over, my three fiberglass beauties are just chillin till next season till i can shred it again. or so i thought. i recently was introduced to something called freebording...basically its like snowboarding but on asphalt. its rad. but totally terrifying too; well for me at least...

(these guys are awesome at it...im no where close...)

ive graduated from holding brian's hand constantly to being able to go pretty confidently for at least a few turns, but only after i am able to actually get ON the board. though i love it so far and know i will love it more the better i get, its still freaking frustrating! i think im just way freaked out by the idea of falling. either way, there is no way for me to get better but to practice...so i just bought one. :)


yeah you guessed it...i got the yellow one...

voodoo kitty

right now im at work and i am BOOOOOOOORED. but how surprising is that? it shouldnt be, considering ive worked here for over 3 years and have been productive for about 30 total hours of that time.

hmm life update, anyone? right now im harassing byu law into letting me in through various means, including but not limited to extorting the contact that i made at a law school conference who just so happens to know my home ward bishop as well as be the assistant dean of admissions (believe me when i say that i called the chips in on that one...my bishop is writing the dean a glowing report on me). kudos to my boyfriend brian for that idea. speaking of which, i recently tried my hand at dentistry when brian broke his tooth last weekend and had to have an emergency root canal in which i assisted and, to my great surprise, did not pass out. needless to say, seeing a man shove a one inch drill into my boyfriends face only to pull out a nerve was disgusting. ill stick with law. my apt drama has been quelled, thanks to a roommate meeting in which i somehow got elected the discussion leader (i believe i have bree to thank for that-she slyly handed me the remote instead of just muting the tv while we all sat awkwardly around it...). brian thought this was logical but i just thought it was horrifying. good thing we are all still friends. my apt also recently acquired rockband thanks to brit's desire to play, and now we all stay up to ungodly hours of the night playing it, while the girls below im sure have turned to voodoo in attempts to shut us up. good thing none of us really feel that bad. memorial day is coming, and so does my next road trip! yay for going home to cali for the weekend-provo's weather is so schizophrenic that i need some solid days in the sun. i think that may be it for now. oh this past week i have become obsessed with a certain cartoon...enjoy....

thoughts on graduation

well i survived. 4 freaking ridiculously long years at byu. last week i got to sport a hogwarts robe and a cardboard slab they call a hat (whoever designed graduation 'fits needs a hard whack to the head) and walk with all my pride across the stage to receive my squishy, albeit empty, diploma holder. i was lucky enough to sit between two of my friends (shout outs to kathleen and glenn) with whom i giggled endlessly through the speeches until a much-too-serious-married-dude hissed at us, to which i responded by texting my boyfriend incessantly. all in all, it wasnt a bad ceremony.

im not totally sure how i made it through and, as my brother pointed out, how i made it through unmarried, but somehow i did it. prolly with the support of those who came to my graduation (the klan, granny and gramma). but to be able to say im done was kinda a good feeling. my mom put together this thing with my family that i thought was just a family party but she had invited some family friends that i had no idea were coming. this included my third grade teacher. yeah that sounds kinda funny huh? well when i think of best years in school as well as most inspirational teacher, she is the one, and i havent seen her since 3rd grade cuz we moved. so needless to say, if you know anything about me, i cried. go figure. but it was great and i loved it.

ok so now ill get sentimental. im glad i got to go to byu for my undergrad. i havent always felt this way-when i first started at byu i hated that people assumed i was here simply because i was mormon, i hated that girls got married and dropped out of school, i hated the conformity and the save-your-soul-as-well-as-everyone-elses attitude. and i still hate it. but ive come to appreciate the people as well as the opportunity i had to live in an environment that would strengthen my testimony and put me among the strongest people of our generation. im grateful for the education i received and though i was often frustrated by being one of the few liberals around, it gave me an opportunity to look at things with a different perspective. for those things am i grateful.

::sigh:: and now its off to law school. somewhere. i cant believe it. i finally got old.