the good mormon wife

i have been in utah for a while now, thanks to my being in college here, and i still refuse to say i "live" here.  this is not my domicile, thank you very much. this is due to many things, but first and foremost, the fact that utah mormons are weird.  i should know.  ive been mormon all my life, and lived here both as a child and as an adult.  

now, when i say this, i dont mean they are weird in that they teach different things.  not at all, the mormon church is the same where ever you go.  but the differences are more subtle, like their attitudes about certain things or ideas.  many people would disagree, but i think its true. even predominant themes in the church are taken to huge extremes here.  

case in point: as mormons, we really value the family and most women choose to be stay at home moms, at least for part of their lives.  but nowhere is there any sort of teaching that forbids working women/mothers-rather, that is a decision left to the individual and the family.

however, a few weeks ago we had stake conference, a sort of district church meeting, where this doctrine was totally skewed.  this is what was said:  "a woman who has a million degrees but no children or family at the end of her life has nothing compared to the woman who can take pride in raising 5, 6, 7, 8 children." the guy speaking piqued my interest with his comments, but i tried to wait before being insulted for any sort of balancing remark such as "this applies to anyone who puts careers ahead of family" or "i say women because i was just speaking about mothers" but nothing like that came.  it made no sense in the context, but i thought maybe he was just unprepared so it came out weird.  

either way though, it was insulting!  why, you might ask? because not only is an education important for women, the statement doesnt take into consideration the women who cant have children or who dont find the guy for them, and who doesnt want to sit at home doing nothing for their entire life. not to mention, everyone knows that earthly wealth isnt gonna  chill with you in heaven, and we believe the only things you are gonna be able to keep past this life in family and knowledge.  so explain to me again, how a woman with a degree(s) is screwed?  

these are the kinds of comments frequently made about mormon women, by mormon men and women alike, in utah. but ive never heard such awful interpretations anywhere else.  when i was in middle school in wa, noone there ever insinuated that women shouldnt go to college, and i certainly never heard the sentiment that women should only stay home and have babies in ca.  it is so frustrating, to feel like people admire your desire to go to law school, but oh you arent gonna work afterwards right, cuz you have been married to two years already and in 2 more years you should definitely be working on babies.

no, actually.

im gonna work.

AND have babies. 

you judge me, and ill punch you.

kidding. maybe.

just a little friendly competition

at this point in time, i think most of my fellow law students have accepted that we are all aggressive, competitive, type A personalities.

so what better to do that have a friendly competition between us?  ya know, no teeth or claws bared, just a laid back, low stress competition. 

right?

for you non-law nerds, in law school we have several competitive groups. one, trial advocacy, is basically a mini trial setting-you call witnesses, introduce evidence, make opening and closing arguments, etc. the other, moot court, is a hybrid-you write a brief on an assigned issue and then argue it, simulating an appellate court. both of these are done in front of judges who are actual practitioners, and afterwards they give you feedback and scores and you could potentially move on to the next round. 

i happen to be on both teams.

this last week was the trial ad competition.  the case was a criminal case involving bank robbery, and the first elimination included two rounds and went from 45ish people down to 16.  

our first round was AWFUL. the judges were whack, our witnesses were a little freaked out, and we forgot a few pieces of evidence.  

the second round was MUCH better.  at first we were assigned to compete against my arch nemesis, but at the last second we were reassigned to compete against some friends of mine who were both on the traveling team so i knew they were good.  we did really well, and it helped that we were being compared to an awesome team.

so the next morning the results were out.  and i was the first alternate.  im pretty sure i read the results twice before i even noticed my name on the sheet.  figuring that noone was gonna drop out, i didnt worry about it.  

until about 4 pm.

thats when i found out that i was in fact competing because my friend had dropped out.  sooo i had to switch sides and compete again.

long story short, my team ended up being alternates for the semi finals.  i was really happy that we did really well, and i hope that it helps me get on the traveling team next year.  but i was even happier that i was able to have a weekend, and keep my sanity.

i swear. i need post traumatic stress counseling.  or a really really long weekend.

so long sweet summer...

does that picture not just scream summer? if you say no, you are nuts. this is crystal cove beach at sunset. so my summer is over, but man, it was prolly the best summer ive had in a long time.

as you know if you happen to read my sporadic and spastic posts, i LOVED my externship. fun people and my ideal job. i cant believe i just said that. i actually know what i am going to do with my life, weird. the best part? going to lunch with the attorneys just for fun! its strange, realizing i have friends that are professionals...am i really not a teenager anymore??

my externship ended just in time for my brother Christian to come home from his mission! ugh, it was sooo good to see him and chill with him again. he has a weird accent (still, 2 months later) but he still giggles like my brother.

at the end of july, my whole fam went to our condo in newport beach...aaaahhhhh, i love california. and the beach. and pretty sunsets. and sun. and, and, and...and it was exactly what i needed. it was so much fun! we took surf lessons and hung out at the beach and pool and just enjoyed each others company. the only bummer was that brian had to leave early for work-it was the first time we had been apart since we got married! i missed him so much, and when i came home, he had a dozen roses waiting for me! what a sweetheart-i guess he did miss me after all :)

august was spent catchin up with friends and hanging out in the yard while brian got his portfolio ready. he was in the visual arts BA but wanted to get into the BFA for graphic design and had to work on some stuff. after weeks of sitting on the couch wondering if my talented husband would ever emerge for the cave he was living in, his portfolio was submitted, reviewed and....ACCEPTED! there are only about 18 people in his program so he is super stoked to start school again. of course this means he will go from full time to part time at his job, and a sudden drop in our income, but so be it. one day he will bring home the real bacon. and the steaks. and the ribs. and more steak. mmmm....

besides all the big stuff, we did alot of other fun stuff too. we went camping, to a bees game, to raging waters, to the salt lake, timpanogos, and redlands temples, to a baptism, and just chilled. the way summer was meant to be i think.

now im back in school. and while i was sitting on the couch catchin up on the 7 or 8 shows that i watch habitually [yeah, yeah, i know im a lazy butt], i kept thinking about how i should update the blog but just didnt want to. and now that im busier than ever, i finally do it. i guess i really like my life to be crazy.

just a few pictures....for more, check out my facebook

brian and i on the condo balcony in front of the view of laguna beach

surf lessons...i got up!!

riding the quads up af canyon while camping

me and christian. we havent changed much.

variations on a familiar theme

ive decided that law school isnt anything to brag about. every one always comments on what a "brainiac" i am but if you know me at all, youll know im not the brilliant, scholarly type. really, law school isnt all that hard. (i havent gotten my grades yet so in about a month, this position may change...) id almost rather just say im going to grad school that open to door to all the false assumptions people make one you let the words "law school" slip out of your mouth. the only difference between grad school in general and law school is the amount of mental and emotional and physical pain you like to endure from day to day. not so keen on self mutilation? go to grad school. want to live in a masochistic house of horrors? law school is the place for you! and so far, this semester promises to painful.

however, there are 3 things that bring me hope that i will survive even better than last semester.

1) i have all female professors. how i managed to do this, I dont know. ok fine, i do know-byu choose my classes for me. but thats makes it even more amazing! for a school with a long heritage of always having more men in the building than women (yes, even on saturdays), it pretty crazy to have gotten all female professors. and they are all pretty neat too. one even looks like velma from scooby doo. while a persons gender doesnt necessarily change their political points of veiw, i think this semester my profs will be more interested in opposing points of view than espousing their own opinions. which will be a nice change in this neo-con environment...

2) i have criminal law this semester...and i heart it already. every class has a ton of reading but its all fascinating to me. its taught by a judge who has a more fluid way of teaching but she likes to encourage debate and discussion, which i always enjoy (well. except when im subject to the idiodic, pointless, and irrelevant musing of some of my more socially inept classmates...). and since criminal law is something that ive always been interested in, double yay.

3) all of my profs are away of our different-than-normal-first-year-second-semester schedule, which has disproportionately more core classes than last semester. beacuse of this, they are all taking it upon themselves to lessen our work load. so instead of having 25 pages of reading per class, it ranges from 6-15 pages of reading per class (minus criminal law though...thats more like 40 pages a night). yay again.

so while this may not sound like much to all of you who are now either writhing uncomfortably because you just realized how easy your life really is, or are now quietly celebrating inside because you are a fellow law student who is trying to catch up to todays reading in your carrel and cannot celebrate outloud, it makes a substantial difference and i might actually get o see my husband sometime in the next 4 months. might. sorry honey, i dont know what time ill be home tonight....