Thursday, November 7, 2013

d is for...

as many of you know, we moved to concord about a year and a half ago, right out of school.  i studied for and took the CA bar and brian worked in the city.  we got a dog and had a baby, and settled in.

our 5th wedding anniversary is fast approaching, and in that time, we have moved 5 times (not including our first apt together or our brief stint living at brians grandmas).  but before we hit 5 years, that number will yet again increase.

because d is for denver. or doomsday.

brian has been offered a great job in Denver, and through all our conversations and contemplation, one thing has been clear-this opportunity will be better for our family in both the short and long term.

and for the first time in a long time, im having a hard time moving.

growing up i moved alot-the side effect of military moves/a dad with itchy feet-but only after living in a place for several years.  in some ways, that was really hard; everyone had made friends, was involved in the community and church, had solid jobs and networks, ect.  our moves as a couple have been very different-1.5 years is the longest we have lived in any one place (though sometimes in similar areas), and in some ways thats what makes this move even harder; we thought we would stay for a while, so we put down roots and got settled, only to suddenly be uprooted again.

brian is very excited.  this is a great opportunity for him career-wise, and he is excited to be in a better environment, venturing into a new area of design, and feeling more financially secure. 

i am less excited.  im licensed here in CA (after spending a year of my life devoted to the bar), i have alot of great friends here, and my parents recently relocated nearby.  with a new baby, the network i have has been a life saver and im (surprisingly) loving being a stay at home mom.  coming to grips with leaving all of that behind has been really difficult.  im terrified of being in a new city, stuck at home with a dog and a baby, with no friends and no career.  really, this is my friends' faults; if they werent so great, i wouldnt care so much. kidding. my friends here are irreplaceable and fantastic, and i dont expect to find people just like them, but ive been so blessed to have them in my life so far, and i hope to keep those friendships strong even with distance.

ultimately, ive seen how excited brian is about the job, and how badly they want him.  ive always said that i would follow his career since i had no intention of being the main breadwinner (by choice...i dont handle that kind of pressure and stress very well), and this is my chance to really live up to my word.  that doesnt mean i wont mourn my losses-the close vicinity to friends and family, the cute nursery i spent so much time on, the perfect weather, the time i spent studying for the ca bar. but im trying hard not to wallow in them.

and that doesnt mean ill wear as much fleece as the locals.  no way.

soon ill be able to add colorado to new jersey, arizona, germany, utah, washington, southern ca, and the bay area.

6 comments:

April J. said...

I am so sad! I have loved getting to know you and admire your spunk! You are an amazing gal and I am grateful to have been able to get to know you. I wish you the best, bust secretly hope this is just a stop on the road to get you back to this crazy area!

baby said...

:(

lynsey said...

woah! such a shocker, and i can definitely understand why this is such a hard decision with how hard you've worked for what you have right now in CA, but i'm so happy for brian for this opportunity. and i'm happy for the people of colorado, because they're going to be so lucky to have you!!

love you lady.

and yes.... a clancy-pants road trip to visit would be SO fun!! let's see how we can make this happen.

Stephanie Mauger said...

4 out of my 6 college roommates will now live in Colorado! Congrats Alex! Do you think you will want to take the CO bar?

Derek Wehling said...

This leaves me feeling a little, sad... I love Colorado so much and am really excited to have you close(r). But you can't change how you feel but hopefully you will find as many things here as you've found most everywhere you've been. Let me know how I can help you get settled!

Bethany said...

What this can't happen. I'm so sad!